Horny Bastard
by fringeperson
Summary: There are going to be consequences to sleeping with almost every woman you meet, and then as part of your job. Vincent just didn't expect those consequences to look as old, or older, than HIM when he eventually met them. ONESHOT, don't own, CidxVin at end


Vincent Valentine was born way back in nineteen-fifty, October thirteenth to be exact (and not the thirty-first as many suspected or joked about). His father, Grimore Valentine, was a well-respected scientist with a few old-fashioned values and a few morals that he was happy to disregard while he staunchly held fast to a few others. In nineteen-seventy-seven, Vincent Valentine 'died' in Nibelheim, shortly after the birth of Sephiroth.

Thirty years later, Vincent Valentine was woken up by a few kids who hadn't even been born when he'd been stuffed into his coffin. Of course, having 'died' at the ripe old age of twenty-seven, Vincent didn't look much older than the oldest of them. Actually looked _younger_ than the oldest of them (Barret Wallace, age thirty-five), but he simply didn't have the energy to try and keep up with the under-twenty crowd.

Between his fifteenth birthday and his application to join the Turks, Vincent took advantage of how often his father travelled for his science by smooth-talking his way into the beds of some very attractive people, some very _rich_ people, and even some who were lucky enough to be both. He even got himself into the beds of some very _married_ people. Once he'd entered the small, elite force, Vincent found his way into even more beds, but with the bonus of actually being paid to seduce the targets – either to gather information or to assassinate them quietly.

His youthful promiscuity had an interesting side-effect however. Quite apart from the very lengthy seduction of Lucrecia Crescent that resulted in the birth of Sephiroth, a great deal of the currently working Turk force was made up of Vincent's "youthful indiscretions".

His donation wasn't always obvious, but it was there to be seen if one knew what they were looking for. Reno had his cheekbones and hands. Tseng had the same hair, though he kept it better, and their shoulders were the same. Rude had inherited the Valentine eyes. Elena, of all people, had gotten his legs (not that he was going to share such information of course).

More worrying was that Vincent was fairly sure that both Yuffie and Tifa were his granddaughters. Tifa had his eyes too after all, and Yuffie looked alarmingly like Vincent recalled his mother did in the few pictures he'd seen of her.

"Alright there Vince?" Cid asked, sitting down beside the man who had been more-or-less brooding.

"Just thinking that people shouldn't get to see the adult results of their youthful flings while they're still young enough to have more," Vincent said. "Physically at least."

Cid laughed at that, and Vincent smiled. He liked Cid. Cid was thirty-two, but a young-looking thirty-two, so there was no visible age gap between them. Also, Vincent didn't feel older than Cid for having been twenty-five when the man was born, and didn't feel young for still being only twenty-seven _now_ when the man was grown.

They got along, somehow. It might have been the shared fondness for tea.

"You know how to avoid that?" Cid asked with a grin.

"Shoot the woman you just slept with?" Vincent suggested with a smirk.

Cid snorted. "That's an option," he allowed. "But if she'd been a good fuck then you'd be missing out, wouldn't ya? Nah. The best way, as I see it, is to have your 'indiscretions' with _men_. No chance that way at all for there to be kids."

Vincent's smirk became just a little predatory. "Why _Cid_," he said, very nearly purring. "Was that an _offer_?" he asked.

Cid grinned back. "An' if it was?"

Vincent abruptly closed the space between them, latching his lips onto the blonde's. He always _had_ been a horny bastard – it was part of why Galien Beast and Chaos both came so easily to him. They were horny bastards as well.

"Then the only thing left to discuss is who gets to be on top first," Vincent said when he broke the very lusty kiss, lightly trailing his claw down the inside of Cid's trousers.

"Can flip a coin for all I fuckin' care," Cid answered with a slight growl in his voice. "Get back here," he insisted, grabbing Vincen't collar and smashing their lips together again.

~The End~


End file.
